So last night I was on the phone with Boyfriend while he was cleaning out his car.
Me: Hey! I’m planning on doing that tomorrow too!! I can’t wait. It really needs it.
Boyfriend: I know, so does mine.
Me: What are you talking about? Your car is always clean. I’ve literally never seen anything in your car that shouldn’t be there… except for dog hair, but that’s usually my fault because it’s on my clothes.
Boyfriend: That’s because all the messy stuff goes into the trunk, and today I had to find something in there and now it’s just an explosion of stuff all over the car.
Me: That’s so weird. You want to know what’s in my trunk right now? One pair of shoes – and they’re not just haphazardly tossed back there. I opened the back of the Jeep the other day and all I saw was one pair of blue shoes, sitting neatly lined up next to each other, ready for me to step into them. Meanwhile, the back seat of the Jeep, there are ice skates, a weird Hobbit banner for some reason, a Where’s Waldo costume, more shoes, a poker set, and some towels that are all balled up in the corner of the seat. Do you know why those towels are all balled up back there?
Boyfriend: Because…
Me: Because I thought it would be nice to put some towels down for the dog so that when we go to the dog park he doesn’t get the back seat all dirty.
Boyfriend: Well, that makes sense.
Me: Except for the fact that when Gio got into the car, he looked at the towels and balled them up and moved them out of the way!!
Boyfriend: But see, you just described my trunk! I promise that I’m messy, too! We’re just reversed!
Me: Yes, but the difference here is that your mess is contained in a place where it is rarely seen. People aren’t sitting in your trunk I HOPE.
Boyfriend: That only happened once.
Me: Really? How strange…
Boyfriend: I can explain.
Me: No, I’m saying that it’s strange because you’ve only had someone in your trunk once and I’ve only ever been in the trunk of someone’s car once…
Boyfriend: …I’m intrigued. I’ll explain mine if you explain yours.
Me: No.
Boyfriend: No?
Me: Let’s just agree to never explain those two scenarios to each other. That way we’ll never really know. It’ll be our way of keeping some mystery in this relationship.
Boyfriend: Fine, but I have a feeling that our stories are pretty much the sa-
Me: Shhhhh…